Alright. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna post. It may mean I miss my window of opportunity for a shower right now during Elijah's nap, but so be it!
I have to share with you about my "big break." That is...my big break from Elijah last night as I left him in the church nursery. Ok - it was only for an hour, but I must have looked at my watch a million times during that hour as I sat in church. The service was great last night and it felt so wonderful to be back at church and out of the house, but I still worried about my little man. Mostly because he was basically screaming when I left him. (I felt good and bad about that!)
I was praying about whether or not last night was the time to get out and go to church for the first time as I was feeding Elijah yesterday afternoon. As I was praying, I suddenly realized that orange, runny poop was running onto my jeans, my boppy, and my awesome (antique white) rocking chair. As I changed Elijah, I called my mom, then Justin on advice on how to get this awfully orange stain out of my chair cushion that I thought was machine washable. Turns out the directions say not to wash it. Long story short, I got the stain (mostly) out, but I was sure this was God's answer to going to church: "OK, Erin, you're right, you're just not ready to leave Elijah in someone else's hands while you spend time in worship." And I was ok sharing that with Justin - tonight just was not going to be the night.
But...after I had a chance to calm down from the ridiculous stains, throw my jeans in the wash so I could wear them (because not much else fits right now), get dinner started, put Elijah to sleep (after I changed another completely full orange, runny diaper)...God was confirming that it was the night to head out to church again. And it was such a blessing.
I dropped Elijah off at the nursery where it was just him and one other little girl. I changed another yucky diaper (trying to be considerate), which ended in me leaving him screaming with the nursery worker. Even though it was weird not having him with me, I returned to the nursery to find him fed, SO content, and eating up the attention of all the ladies who had inevitably shown up to get a peek at him. I was so proud! He did really well for his first nursery experience. The rest of his umbilical cord fell off while he was there, which freaked out the ladies, but I was just glad to finally have it all gone!
Then, we headed to choir practice where I was praying for the same good experience. And it was! It was like Elijah knew exactly where he was - I guess because he'd spent 9 months sitting through Justin's (grueling) choir rehearsals. (Just kidding, babe!) He was wide awake at first, taking it all in. Then he slept for the rest of the time, which amazed me. Again, I was so proud!
I'm so thankful for how God calms our nerves and often works things out better than we had even expected. How amazing that God cares about the small areas of our lives, knowing exactly how we feel. I pray that I will continue to give my fears and feelings to the Lord as I am raising Elijah, because, honestly, he has evoked some major feelings since his arrival, and I've gotta keep my thoughts in check with Him!
Please share: What was your first experience in leaving your child in someone else's care??