Thursday, March 12, 2009

mommy's "big break"

Alright. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna post. It may mean I miss my window of opportunity for a shower right now during Elijah's nap, but so be it!

I have to share with you about my "big break." That big break from Elijah last night as I left him in the church nursery. Ok - it was only for an hour, but I must have looked at my watch a million times during that hour as I sat in church. The service was great last night and it felt so wonderful to be back at church and out of the house, but I still worried about my little man. Mostly because he was basically screaming when I left him. (I felt good and bad about that!)

I was praying about whether or not last night was the time to get out and go to church for the first time as I was feeding Elijah yesterday afternoon. As I was praying, I suddenly realized that orange, runny poop was running onto my jeans, my boppy, and my awesome (antique white) rocking chair. As I changed Elijah, I called my mom, then Justin on advice on how to get this awfully orange stain out of my chair cushion that I thought was machine washable. Turns out the directions say not to wash it. Long story short, I got the stain (mostly) out, but I was sure this was God's answer to going to church: "OK, Erin, you're right, you're just not ready to leave Elijah in someone else's hands while you spend time in worship." And I was ok sharing that with Justin - tonight just was not going to be the night.

But...after I had a chance to calm down from the ridiculous stains, throw my jeans in the wash so I could wear them (because not much else fits right now), get dinner started, put Elijah to sleep (after I changed another completely full orange, runny diaper)...God was confirming that it was the night to head out to church again. And it was such a blessing.

I dropped Elijah off at the nursery where it was just him and one other little girl. I changed another yucky diaper (trying to be considerate), which ended in me leaving him screaming with the nursery worker. Even though it was weird not having him with me, I returned to the nursery to find him fed, SO content, and eating up the attention of all the ladies who had inevitably shown up to get a peek at him. I was so proud! He did really well for his first nursery experience. The rest of his umbilical cord fell off while he was there, which freaked out the ladies, but I was just glad to finally have it all gone!

Then, we headed to choir practice where I was praying for the same good experience. And it was! It was like Elijah knew exactly where he was - I guess because he'd spent 9 months sitting through Justin's (grueling) choir rehearsals. (Just kidding, babe!) He was wide awake at first, taking it all in. Then he slept for the rest of the time, which amazed me. Again, I was so proud!

I'm so thankful for how God calms our nerves and often works things out better than we had even expected. How amazing that God cares about the small areas of our lives, knowing exactly how we feel. I pray that I will continue to give my fears and feelings to the Lord as I am raising Elijah, because, honestly, he has evoked some major feelings since his arrival, and I've gotta keep my thoughts in check with Him!

Please share: What was your first experience in leaving your child in someone else's care??


Terra Jones said...

For our 2nd anniversary, we left Keaton (he was about 2 months) with a dear friend (Whitney) and went to Outback for dinner...I knew he was in the best hands around, but I still worried the whole time...I didn't even order dessert, I just wanted to get back to my baby!

Sheila said...

I am smiling so big because I know every momma can relate! Ours was when O was 2 weeks old and she stayed in her own SS class with Susan Hodges and Jennifer Gunter! :o)

Isn't it amazing that we can pray about even these LITTLE THINGS and God GRACIOUSLY replies with what we need when we need it!

Jennifer said...

Bryce was about 6 weeks old when I left him for SS with Mrs. Coreen. I remember talking to Sharon T. later about how I couldn't pay attention, kept wondering how long it would be... knowing the whole time he was fine and in great hands. I think it's the mother's heart God gives us all moms.

Talia said...

the first time i left bryce was when he was 2 days old. it was very traumatic but at the same time i fully trusted the couple we left him with (our children's pastor and his wife...who are also our best friends). at about 2AM, chris realized i was shivering on the couch while i was trying to nurse bryce. he took my temp and it was 103.5. obviously, since i had just had a baby, we knew we had to go to the ER. i did not want to take my 2 day old into the nasty, sick infested ER. so we called on our dear friends, who jumped at the chance to help and snuggle with their "grandbaby". we were at the ER for 2 hours. i was sent home with antibiotics for an infection. it was the longest 2 hours ever!!