exercise in communication

Welcome to Day 3 of Keep It Simple, Sister! Today is a chance to share ideas on keeping things simple in marriage.

My husband and I have only been married for four years, but I do have just a little bit to share on the subject!

Justin and I attended a marriage conference at our church a few months ago. It was a good conference, but there was one thing in particular that I took away that I don't think I will ever forget.

The couple who led the conference shared a great exercise to help foster communication within marriage. And isn't that one of the greatest areas where breakdown can easily occur in relationships?

We were challenged to take time once a month to spend time with our spouse discussing three little questions/statements to help keep communication alive within our marriages. Justin and I did this exercise the night of the conference and I think it's about time we do it again. We were encouraged to have a nice date night and discuss these statements, so I think it's about time for a nice date!

Here are the three statements we were encouraged to use and in this order:

1. Do you remember when...?
2. What really bugs me most about you...
3. What I love most about you...

So, if I were doing this exercise with Justin, I might say the following:

1. Do you remember when you needed a plunger in Mexico and you had to draw a picture of it for the hotel clerk in order to get one? (Good example of a funny story to get the conversation going!)

2. What really bugs me most about you is how extremely good looking you are. (I decided not to call him out on the internet!)

3. What I love most about you is watching you as a Dad.

Hopefully you can see how this simple exercise in communication can really help to spur good and hopefully beneficial conversation between you and your spouse.  This truly is an exercise I hope to see us repeat again and again in our marriage.

Sometimes it's fun just to talk about numbers 1 and 3, but number 2 can't be neglected.  This is where growth in marriage can really occur, if couples are willing to listen.

What ideas do you have for keeping things simple in your marriage?

Feel free to link your post below or leave a comment!

worship or waste?

[Hello again blogging world!]

Justin just got back from a mission trip to Ecuador.  I was so excited that he was able to go!  He and his team worked with pastors and their wives and children who gathered in a small village for a pastor's conference.  Many of them walked for days just to attend!  Justin helped lead the music, play with children, and even spoke to the pastors for a little while.  I'm so proud of him and really wish I could have been there.  We didn't get to communicate much while he was there, but in one e-mail he wrote that he wished I could be there with him, but he definitely didn't wish Elijah were there because it was just so dirty.  It's amazing the conditions others live in daily.

There were lots of new things Justin discovered on this trip.  In fact, he didn't know much of what to expect, but he did know beforehand that he would be eating a rare delicacy prepared by the villagers - the "food of the gods" - guinea pig!  Yes, I can't even believe it.  My husband has eaten a guinea pig.  (I have been sick basically the entire time since he's been home so we've hardly kissed. -boo-  But I think that's been good because surely the guinea pig aftertaste is completely out of his mouth by now! Ugh!)  

*Another side note if you want an idea of the dish he had - just Google "fried guinea pig."*

As amazing as it is that Justin has eaten guinea pig, the generosity of the people who prepared and served the guinea pig is even more amazing to me.  Before going, Justin learned that a meal of guinea pig costs about $10 for the people to serve.  These are people who (for those who actually make money) make about $40 a month!  Imagine that - taking a 1/4 of your monthly income and blessing a stranger with a meal that you don't even splurge on for your own family.  Think about that right now.  What would a 1/4 of your monthly income be and would you even fathom preparing a meal that costs that much?  We experienced this generosity on mission trips we took to Mexico as well - the giving out of their limited funds to welcome those whom they have never met.  What a picture of hospitality and service!

I'm reminded of an account of such generosity in the story of Mary as she pours out a great offering on Jesus.  In Matthew 26 we read the following:

And when Jesus was in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper, a woman came to Him having an alabaster flask of very costly fragrant oil, and she poured it on His head as He sat at the table. But when His disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, "Why this waste? For this fragrant oil might have been sold for much and given to the poor." But when Jesus was aware of it, He said to them, "Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a good work for Me. For you have the poor with you always, but Me you do not have always. For in pouring this fragrant oil on My body, she did it for My burial. Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her."

As I think about the people who served Justin and his team last week, I am just amazed at their generosity.  But I admit, much like the disciples, I find myself questioning the gift. Why did they spend this money on food that may or may not even be enjoyed by people they don't even know?  In order not to see this treatment as an incredible waste, I have to view the meal as Jesus viewed Mary's gift - as an amazing act of worship.    She knew her Master as Provider, and chose to lavish upon Him, her Savior, ultimately knowing His promises to care for her.  These villagers who prepared such a sacrificial meal for Justin's team truly worshiped, showing their reliance on an unchanging Savior instead of reliance on their measly income.  

I am challenged to seek greater ways to worship my Savior through extravagant service.  I think that acts of service that are ultimately gifts of worship to our great God show the world that we serve a worthy Savior.

I Love the Blakley Boys!

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. Well, we've been back in town since Monday, but I just now feel like I've caught up on everything.  It is always good to get a vacation from the norm, but it seems that it takes another week to bounce back from a vacation!  Laundry is done and the house is pretty clean, so now I'm ready to enjoy the weekend!

2.  Elijah got 3 more teeth while we were gone last week, so I am very thankful he is a fairly easy teether!  It could have been real torture in a hotel room, but he did great.  Check out this picture I took this morning...I can't believe how much his teeth have already come through. 

3.  One more thing about last week's vacation...We stayed with some friends of ours at the end of the week and had such a good time.  It's always good to go somewhere where you can feel so at home and welcome.  When we got home, however,  I was unpacking our toiletries and found several things that I knew weren't ours.  I was confused for a second and then remembered that Justin had packed our stuff up to leave.  Apparently he forgot that we weren't staying at a hotel where you can just take the shampoo with you!! He basically just cleaned out the shower at our friends' house!  I now have their shampoo, some body wash, and (get this!) some hand soap!  (Apparently he cleaned off the counter, too!)  Well...it's just another reminder of why I do the packing for vacation, and I guess I have to be more careful about packing to return home, too.  I remember checking the bathroom that day to see if we left anything behind, and obviously we did not!  Oh, well.  Maybe we'll be invited back again...if I can get a handle on Justin's sticky fingers!

4.  (If you are my mom...you may not want to read this one!)

Elijah has been crawling everywhere these days, and as I've mentioned before, he is much more interested in Jazz's toys than his own.  Literally, his ball that rattles and is so colorful can be sitting right next to Jazz's boring, plain ball, and he will go for her's everytime!  Now Elijah has discovered that Jazz's food bowl is more exciting than his toys as well.  I've had to "redirect" him several times away from her bowl.  One time he turned it over and got water all over himself, which he did not like! I had hoped that incident had scared him away, but apparently not.  Yes. It has already happened. My 8 1/2 month old child has tasted dog food.  I guess that officially takes me out of the running for mom of the year...or ever!

Yesterday morning, I left Elijah crawling in the living room while Jazz was eating her food and I went back to the bedroom for a few minutes.  I didn't think one thing about the scene that I had just set up!  Sure enough, I went back and Elijah has one piece of food in his mouth and one piece in his hand.  Disgusting!  Atleast I know that Jazz didn't freak out on Elijah...but I kind of wish she would have so Elijah would stay away from the dog food! 

Any suggestions for keeping Elijah away??

5. I have checked out FlyLady before, but never really stuck with anything.  This week I am doing so well!  I have a renewed sense of discipline for our home after being away for a week.  I am ready to Fly!  Check it out...it's a good time to get things in order with the holidays coming up!

6. If you live around Elkin and haven't been to Finder's Keepers yet, you should check it out!  It's a new consignment shop that sells household items.  No clothes, so it's kind of nice just to go check out the household stuff she's got.  It's on North Bridge Street, on the left, if you're heading toward Belk's.  I'm really into consignment shopping right now, and since this area doesn't offer the best shopping expereiences, I feel like it's a good opportunity to shop for items you might not find in stores right around here.  I just took some stuff there yesterday, so I'm hoping it will get sold quickly! 

7.  A friend of mine just introduced me to E-mealz, and I think we are going to get along great!  I just signed up the other day and we had our first E-meal last night.  If you don't like planning your menu each week, but would like to have a better plan, then this is for you!  There is a small fee, but in return, you receive a meal plan for a week along with a detailed shopping list.  I know that a good plan can save lots of money, and we all want to do that, right!

Join in on 7 Quick Takes Friday!

a day at the lake!

We got to spend some time at the lake with Justin's parents this weekend and it was so great to get away. Elijah did wonderful, but it really wore him out. After a growth spurt week, 2 days at the lake, then church, he slept and slept today. (Which was nice for us on Labor Day!) I took some sweet pictures of Elijah at the lake and I would have taken SO many more if my camera battery wouldn't have been dying. It always seems to be dying when there are prime picture taking moments - and I had to save some battery for Justin's (floundering) attempts at a back flip off of the rope swing. (See below). Anyway...enjoy these pictures of Elijah...he's growing so much!

watching daddy attempt a flip!

hanging out with Nana

smiling at Grandaddy

so sweet!

Elijah was really interesting in driving the boat!

checking out the water

happy to be standing (as always!)

wonder what secret Jazz is telling Elijah!?

gotta love the rope swing! Justin's been talking about flipping for months, but apparently it is not as easy as some guys make it look. I'm just glad there were no broken bones! (just egos) :)

more vbs fun!

Here are some more pictures of VBS last week. On the last night Justin got a pie in the face, so we just had to stay and watch! Yum! Elijah loved all the VBS songs and just jumped up and down when I had him in the closing rally. (He sure heard them enough around the house last week!)

I snuck in and caught a picture of Elijah sleeping one night

Elijah's teachers surprised me and took him to crafts one night! So sweet!

Justin and the kids leading a song at the final worship rally.

Let the pieing begin!! (Justin and our pastor, Johnny)

And everyone got pied!!

There's a missions offering competition between the guys and girls every year to see who get's pied. The girls won, so the guys got pied, but Cheryl and Tina were good sports and took one to the face too! This was the last picture I got before it got SO loud I had to take out a screaming baby.

d.c. pictures!

Elijah got to know his carseat very well...poor thing!

Sleeping through the sights!

In front of the Capitol Building

Justin and Elijah in front of a fountain

Justin doing some "baby wearing!"

Feeding Elijah in the park!

Elijah trying his best to stay sane in his carseat!

We really didn't take alot of pictures this trip, but it was quite an experience to remember. As you can see, one of the main mistakes we made was not taking our really nice carseat/stroller combo and instead, taking a small stroller and frontpack carrier. We just didn't think that through well and you can't change your mind after you've taken the metro 15 minutes into town!

After learning of yesterday's Metro crash, we are just all the more thankful to have returned home from our trip safely. God blessed us with a good time together.

to d.c. and back!

As you can tell from the lack of blogging, our lives are just not that interesting lately. Other than the great time spent with our adorable son, not that much goes on in the Blakley household each day. With summer here, we just had to create our own excitement. And nothing spells excitement quite like a road trip with a 4 month old!

Because we had a singing group for the entire church service on Father's Day, this meant a "week off" for Justin. We decided to take advantage of that and planned our trip around the churches of music ministers Justin wanted to glean some wisdom from. This sent us to Durham for Justin to attend a choir/band rehearsal last Wednesday at The Summit Church and north of Washington D.C. to attend a worship service at Covenant Life Church.

We've been to The Summit several times, and their choir rehearsal is an amazing thing to be a part of. God has tremendously blessed their worship leader, Chris Gaynor with a humble, kind spirit, and a gift for leading God's people in worship. Justin was glad to be able to go again and spend some time talking to Chris. Since we were headed that way, we spent some time Wednesday and Thursday seeing some friends in Roxboro, where we used to live. That was a great blessing and such a good time to catch up with people we hadn't seen in a while. (Really, everyone just wanted to meet Elijah!)

Friday morning we headed to D.C. to spend two nights. Our time in D.C. was pretty much spontaneous and hilarious because we were just following wherever "Mr. GPS Voice" took us! With Elijah, we knew we'd have to be flexible and Justin and I are aren't exactly what you would call "planners," so we just went with the flow.

Looking back...we would've done a few things differently, but I guess you learn what to do and not to do when traveling with kids...so now we know for next time! Overall, Elijah had enough clean clothes and diapers, ate every meal, and didn't get us kicked out of the hotel, so isn't that all that really matters?! I survived my first two "real" public breastfeeding episodes - one at the National Museum of Art and the other on a park bench facing the Washington Monument - I definitely set my standards pretty high! (All the other times I fed Elijah in the car).

So, as Elijah slept around D.C. on Saturday, Justin and I toured a couple of places. Other than enjoying the great monuments, we decided that the internet has probably caused us to lose a little bit of our wonder in the museums. As Justin put it, if we wanted to see Kristi Yamaguchi's figure skates, we'd just look online. If we wanted to see Duke Ellington's manuscripts, we'd Google them. We're gonna have to save up our excitement for when our children are old enough to want to tour these places. (Obviously we didn't do a good job picking the right Smithsonian museums to visit, either!)

Then, Sunday we headed to Covenant Life Church for what we thought was an 11:00 service. Turns out, the internet ISN'T always right and their 2nd service is at 11:30. Too bad we got there at 10:20. Oh well, that left me time to nurse Elijah and tour their GIGANTIC children's area. I was SO impressed. I felt so welcomed as I found their "Infant Care Room" that housed what looked like theater seating of sofas and nursery gliders. Nice. Real Nice. There's nothing like nursing in style at church on Sunday morning. (At least that once!)

My experience was nice, but unfortunately the pastor (Joshus Harris) and the worship pastor (Bob Kauflin) were out of town yesterday. It was a great service, but I hated that Justin couldn't "see Bob in action." I think it was a good first Father's Day, though!

It was a great trip, but its good to be home. More thoughts and pictures to come!

i love...

my husband.

And there's no better day to write about it than today. Our 3rd anniversary. I can hardly believe we've been married three years, but I guess it has flown by with all that we have done.

When we got married three years ago, we were still in school, we were living in a completely different town, going to a different church, living on a FARM, no dog, no idea what changes would come.

Now, 3 years later, we've graduated from school, have a great dog, moved to a different part of the state, we are in a different church, we both love our jobs, we bought a house, and had a beautiful baby boy. Hello...did not know all of that was coming so fast when I met the man of my dreams.

But, when you marry the man you KNOW God chose perfectly for you, all of these changes have been blessings as we have faced them together. Through every change, Justin has consistently led our family in a God-honoring way and I am so thankful for that. He amazes me every day in the kindness, forgiveness, grace, and love he shows me. He truly does point me to Christ's love in the way that he loves me and makes me want to be more like Christ because of the example he is.

We enjoyed a great breakfast together at Cracker Barrel this morning, thanks to a gift card we've been waiting to use!

In honor of my husband and our anniversary, I'm posting pictures of the hard work he's done in our yard these last weeks, creating a "natural area." I'm so proud of him and love him even more today than yesterday. Watching Elijah fall more in love with him each day is almost more than my heart can take! ...I'm so blessed!

(The area started out with no mulch!)

And...today is also my Dad's Birthday...so I want to celebrate him too...the man who set the example for what I knew I wanted in a husband. Happy Birthday, Dad! I love you so much!

whoops...

I'm pretty sure I've blogged about this t-shirt of Justin's before, but I can't find it right now...

Well...I remember there have been a few times we have been out and decided to get some Japanese food, only to realize that Justin is wearing this shirt, so we quickly decide on an alternate means of sustenance. Tonight, however, with the combination of our empty refrigerator and the rain, I called in Japanese takeout for Justin to pick up. Poor guy didn't go through the drive thru. Of all nights, he walked right in to the restaurant wearing this shirt! Thankfully our food had already been boxed up, because I'm pretty sure it might not have remained uncontaminated if it wasn't. With good cause! He may never be able to step foot in the local Japanese restaurant again. As for me...they can't keep me away!

This shirt might need to be in our next yard sale!

7 quick takes friday!

1.

So...Justin hurt his ankle on Monday night playing basketball. Thankfully, we already had a set of crutches in the attic from previous incidents like this. Let's face it - when we started dating, he was on crutches...so I signed up for these little accidents!! It seems to be healing well, so that's good.

2.

Elijah slept through the night (8-9 hours) from Saturday night to Wednesday night!!! Last night he only made it to 5 am, but I'm still so thankful! My precious 10 week old is doing pretty good. He likes to sleep like his mom and dad!

3.

I feel like I left my job to stay at home with my son and do laundry. Was there this much laundry when I was working?? I know I've added the cloth diapers to the load, but those seem so easy compared to everything else! Whew!...now if I could just keep up with the ironing.

4.

My mom came and stayed with Elijah for about 5 hours yesterday while I was at a church event. I'm so thankful that she was able to come up and she was great (of course) with Elijah. Stay tuned for a hilariously cute video from her visit that I'll post tomorrow.

5.

One of my best friends from college, Sarah, is coming to visit today!! I can't wait...she hasn't seen Elijah yet and I'm excited for her to meet him. She's driving up from Georgia as I type this! Yay Sarah!!

6.

I'm excited to be playing some "background music" tomorrow for a Mother/Daughter tea hosted by the Arts Council in Elkin. I don't get to play piano a lot lately, so I'm excited for the opportunity (even though I have a lot to still prepare tonight) and hopefully it will mean some good contacts for piano students in the Fall!

7.

I'm planning to organize a community yard sale for May 16th. Be in prayer for this because I'm kind of using this as a way to meet all of our new neighbors. God has given me a burden for our neighborhood and gave me this idea as a way to jumpstart relationships with those around us. I hope lots of neighbors will be excited about this.

Have a great Friday!!

elijah singing with daddy

Elijah knows what music he likes...

...and what music he doesn't!

I know I shouldn't love this face, but I can't help it...it's too cute!!!

happy 8 weeks Elijah!

As promised, here are some sweet pictures of my baby boy over the first 8 weeks of his life. So far, he's smiling at Mommy and Daddy like crazy, cooing, squealing every now and then, holding his head up, and sleeping up to 6 hours at night. He's our bundle of joy!

Week 1 - In the billiblanket

Week 2 - In Daddy's arms

Week 3 - With his babysitter (just kidding, Mom!)

Week 4 - On his tummy

Week 5 - In a photo shoot!

Week 6 - During bathtime

Week 7 - Easter Sunday!

Week 7 again - Too cute!

Week 8! - So precious!

reflecting over 8 weeks

Tomorrow Elijah will be 8 weeks old. I can't believe it. I have watched my "Sweet Pea" just grow and grow and my love for him just keeps growing, too. It's true what "they" say...it's hard to imagine life before he was a part of our little family. Elijah has been a true joy. My first few weeks as a mother were quite a roller coaster ride of emotions. I would go from thinking "this is the greatest thing in the world" to thinking "what in the world have I gotten myself into." I've had moments of true clarity while being a mom as well as moments of great doubt. I never knew that I would begin to worry so much when we had our son, but God has been good to help me (mostly) keep my head on straight and gain control of my thoughts. (Reminding me that Elijah is His).


My days seem so strange to me lately...a never ending cycle of baby events. I feel so crazy on the days when our routine seems to go haywire, but days like today when Elijah is a "dream baby" I just feel so complete in what I am doing right now. I desperately need to put some more "me time" in to my routine...(aka: I've gotta make some friends and get out of this house!) ...but overall, I am so thankful to be staying at home with Sweet Pea and watching him grow.


Recently, he has been smiling SO big and cooing like crazy. I just can't get enough of that! Sometimes he'll just smile up at me and I just can't help but cry because my heart is so full. What an unbelievable feeling to love someone so tiny so much. Elijah has been sleeping so good at night. I am so blessed. Today he woke up in his crib about 7:30 and just laid there and cooed and talked to himself for about 10 minutes. I just don't know how it can get any better than that! I feel like my whole being is now wrapped up in his accomplishments instead of my own. I can't wait to see what God has planned for this little boy.


One of my favorite things is taking Elijah to church. My little Sweet Pea just eats up the attention of all the ladies in the nursery. (I'm so in trouble since all of his little nursery friends are gonna be girls!) He's been so good in the nursery so far. Our church has tv's in the nursery rooms for the workers to listen to the service and they all tell me that he just turns his little head toward the screen whenever his daddy is singing or the choir is singing. I just love that!

Just this week, Elijah has started smiling at me while I'm nursing him. He'll just take a quick break and smile so big up at me. I'm telling you...Justin is gonna come home one day and just find me in a puddle on the floor! I can't believe he's 8 weeks old tomorrow, but I definitely owe the blog some pictures, so check in for a photo update!

snow...finally!

I have been teased so much by snow this year, it's not funny! Literally, it seemed that every time it snowed in the past couple of weeks, it would snow everywhere BUT Jonesville. Well, we finally got a beautiful snow! Too bad Elijah is too little to enjoy it, but that certainly didn't stop Justin and Jazz! Elijah and I got spoiled having Daddy at home Sunday night and all day Monday! We had such a relaxing day yesterday. That's right, my son is only 12 days old and we had a relaxing day. He is such a great baby!

Elijah and I checking out his first snow

Jazz checking out the snow with Justin

I finally took an outside picture of our house!

monthly update!

So...my blogging has been pathetic lately!! (to say the least) But, I just haven't been on the computer much at all. Ok...I take that back...when I have been on the computer lately, I've just been focusing on doing some online shopping for Christmas and for Baby Blakley (yes, we still do not have a name).

In my usual spirit of blogging updates, here goes...

• I just got in my starter pack order of small cloth diapers...I went with fuzzibunz and was excited to have a 25% off coupon to lessen the blow of the purchase. I can't wait for our son to be in them...they are so cute and soft!...any advice on the best thing to use for a diaper pail?...I've gotta get that next.
• I also got our bedding in for Baby Blakley...next purchase, I guess, needs to be a crib! With no surprise to anyone who knows me, it is teal and brown gingham. I love it! I went with something fairly plain so Justin can put his artistic skills to work on the nursery walls...
• ...nursery walls that will be in our very own house!!!! It looks like we will probably be closing on our first (owned) home sometime next week! I can't believe it. Justin has been awesome, handling all the details, so I guess this is kind of sneaking up on me. I've been slowly packing up books, choosing things to give away, and getting myself mentally prepared for another move at Christmas. I'm so excited that we will be in our home before Baby Blakley comes.
• As for some house details...it's an open floor plan, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, with a garage and a (drumroll please)....dishwasher! Merry Christmas to me! I am also pretty excited about the washer and dryer being in the hallway and not on a cold back porch! Can I just say...I'm so excited.
• God has just continually been reminding us how blessed we are lately. If it were up to me, I probably would have not been so patient...for this perfect house. We thought our final option was going to be building a house, so we were so amazed when God led us to this 10 year old home that is so similar to what we would have built. Not to mention the sudden drop in interest rates. God is so good!
• We will soon be living in the town of Jonesville..."across the river" from Elkin! You're all invited over!

productive week! ...with correction!

So...my week in review...

• I turned 27! Monday (can't believe it) and got some great scrapbooking stuff from Justin that I can't wait to check out and these beautiful flowers!
• We had a great Ladies Fellowship meeting on Tuesday night at church...now on to planning for December
• We went with our parents on Monday to look at a house Justin found last week. They love it and we love it!...plans are in the works!
• Two of my closest clients at work had their babies! Praise the Lord!
• I had a great OB appointment...it's hard to believe I only have three weeks left! (Um...hello I must have had a "pregnancy moment!"...I have three MONTHS left! Glad you girls read and commented...no...with three weeks left I doubt I'll even have the patience to bullet everything!) I was told I was measuring "perfectly," so I liked hearing that :) ...It would've really been a productive week if we had decided on a name... but Baby Blakley is still doing great!
• I baked a pumpkin pie...from real pumpkins...tastes pretty good, too!
  

From decorations.......to dessert!!

• Justin has been back and forth on the phone with banks and mortgage companies and the owner of the house we're looking at...things are looking good...I'm so glad he's doing the dirty work, though!


• I decorated for Christmas!! And I'm so glad...it's minimal, because we're hoping to move very soon, but I'm just glad to have my manger scene up and all the beautiful Christmas things. I can't believe we might be moving around Christmas again! Oh well!
  
• We saw Fireproof today - finally! And I cried almost the ENTIRE time ...I should have been warned as the pregnant, already emotional woman that I needed to take plenty of tissues. But, I loved it!

trip on the parkway!

We had a nice day last Thursday to drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was beautiful! We took Jazz and got to enjoy the great views.

Yes, Justin is the bluetooth guy now...gotta say - I need one of these now!

Stone Mountain